Candy Swanepoel Twitted, Twatted, Twixed, Terried Or Somethinged Us

That’s no Twat……that’s an arse……and a goodn’….

this was taken five minutes before i bent her over and gave her the business.

I would bang that like a screen door in a hurricane.

Dr. Poop…..

…a patient of yours…???

http://lifeinc.today.com/_news/2013/01/11/16465654-flatulent-federal-workers-reprimand-is-rescinded?lite

I am without my Mac. This sucks!

And it’s cold up here in Alaska.

I’m going to need a to see a pair of her soiled yoga pants to be sure, but I think I’m in love.

You think it’s cold in Alaska?

At least you are not being irradiated here in Japan!

I barely am making any sales!

Thank God the Liquor stores are still open… I bought a bottle that hopefully isn’t too full of poisons… other than what is in the bottle already…

Cheers, Gentlemen!

God Bless 90 Proof!

Oh yeah,

I would bang that ass until I started poking out her belly-button!

Hey Gildork, we should get together and get drunk…for the next three weeks I am staying at the Hilton in Nalgasaki.

You know what, Pepper? You miserable bastard!!! I am one of those who is actually willing to meet in real life… I was married for six miserable years… Okay, the first year wasn’t so bad… In any case, my will to live was crushed years ago…

I am just saying… I would be proud to meet up with you, you miserable bastard…

Granted, I have been drinking and the fucker who is engaged to Evil Red just invited me to come over for dinner… I am just enough fucked up, I don’t care where I end up…

I can only hope I drink enough to die in my sleep tonight!

I know, Mr. Nutt has expressed a certain level of negativity towards this course of action… But I am still all for it…

I would love to come back in just enough time to see the look on my ex’s face when she finds out she is not the beneficiary of my life insurance. Then I could go to Hell with a Smile!

Cheers!

hmmmmm…what does any of your shit have to do with us getting together in Japan?
Evil Red and her man are there as well?
Did I miss something?

well…before you go and snuff yourself, have a good laugh with me……
http://www.wimp.com/quickdraw/

No… Apparently according to Observer… I am in Japan…

Evil Red and her man are here in the States,,,

You did not miss anything other than my real life plans for this evening.

Thanks Pepper…

I can always know if I get lucky enough to pass this evening…

I left with a laugh…

here is another reason to hang on…….I love this old man……
http://www.wimp.com/tailorlessons/

Then again, did you take a look at that ass?

Speaking of meeting in real life……

….my wife was at a Whiskey tasting in NYC the other night……..

….and she brought nothing back for me!!

Is whiskey any good, Gildorg…??

Ha…. “Whiskey”…. That’s just what I call my cock…

How did you like her whiskey breath?

Whiskey is my poison of choice.

Gildorg, you must live at least one day longer than your X so you can shit on her grave. That’s my plan anyways. Getting the last word means everything.

I saw my lawyer today and I have a 50\50 chance of winning Monday. She has a 50/50 chance of waking up Tuesday.

My cock’s name is Mr Winky.

Me off to bed

This guy needs new glasses…..

I am not seeing links. I am on my wife’s PC. You PC guys need to help me.

My wife’s ass will be sore tomorrow…. Thankyou gayner

Shit…

Finally home…

Damn Evil Red talked me into working open to close again…

Sigh…

Thank God for Alcohol!

Cheers, Gentlemen!

Gildorg,

When you work open to close at the sperm-bank/15 minute oil change shop, do oyur hands get sore from:
A) Milking people’s prostate?
2) Oiling so many door-hinges?

I still say we hire a guy to pee on him.

I am home fresh from court with a small victory in my back pocket. There was a continuance on one issue but other than that she got her ass handed to her. Nice link Harley, I needed that.

Nutt,

Was she a swallower or a spitter?

. . . Also, did she take it up the ass, and how did she manicure her bush (bare, full, landingstrip)

Oh . . . also how big are her tits, and how would you rate her nipples 1-10. Does she have big brown saucer nipples like Pepper, or really long pencil eraser nips likeObserver’s babysitter

My ex was a spitter.

She did take it up the ass, but not till after I left her. Bush was trimmed, and I could talk her into going bare from time to time, usually for money. She was not above prostituting herself, so I respected her unconscious admission that all wives are just long-term, lazy hookers in the end.

Tits were big, but wonky, the right one hung lower than the other one, nice pink nips, but she didn’t let me pinch them as hard as I wanted to.

She did like to have a dildo rammed up her ass, but who doesn’t?

http://www.egotastic.com/photos/catarina-migliorini-goes-nekkid-for-playboy-brazil/catarina-migliorini-topless-playboy-brazil-03/full-size/#imagetop

Rokan, that is a lot of info you have requested. The short answer….prude. Large tits that when we were dating, I would walk up behind her and grab those tits and set them on the bar. I never had to wait for a drink. That is the only fond memory I have of her. We all make mistakes from time to time and she was my biggest. The new Mrs. Nutt is the complete opposite. Mid-sized tits. I have learned from my mistakes.

Has anyone gone to MacDonald’s today…???

I’m thinking I might want one of the “special” Happy Meals….

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=5a7_1192066717

I wouldn’t mind this surprise….

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d03_1236269064

That’s fucking crazy.

Looks like one of Pepper’s “job interviews”

So that chick thought she should finger herself for a stranger, but Gildorg can’t get himself a piece of ass?

What’s the world coming to?

Looks like from the comments, that she blew the guy. Where is the video of that, Observer?

I am wondering the same thing myself……

….the beauty of this story is that similar calls and results were made in the Boston area…..

…so I need a phone card, some binoculars and a police procedure manual……

Rokan….I have to say…..my faith in humanity is restored by stories like this……

of course…..I have to watch the Hollywood recreation of this story…..with the cutie from “Don’t Trust The Bitch in Apartment 23″…..

http://www.egotastic.com/2012/08/dreama-walker-topless-hot-and-victimized-in-compliance-youre-not-supposed-to-like-that-last-part/

I am speechless.

Great find Obs.

Wait! I think Obs is trying to pull a fast one. That looks like a clip from nude fry cooks 6. That’s the one where she shoves the spatula up her ass and then flips burgers.

Mr. Nutt……

…the reminder was the “Dreama Walker” topless pics from “Egotastic”.

I remember years ago when the story first happened……I briefly heard the story and just assumed that eventually the “manager” and her “fiance” would be found to have faked the whole thing…..but NO!

Imagine your girlfriend calls you….asks you to come to work…..you get there and she’s got a fairly passable naked 18 year-old in her office…..and your assignment is to do a cavity search….have her run in place naked…..and a few other things…..eventually you have the kid BLOW you…….

When the end of the story arrives….you go to jail for a few years and the guy on the phone….nothing…..

Justice was served…..except the “manager” should have been required to blow the 18 year old’s boyfriend (or dad) as restitution……

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strip_search_prank_call_scam#Mount_Washington.2C_Kentucky.2C_incident

Sometimes I think ….”nobody could be that stupid”…..and I’m proven wrong by a country mile…..

The part that gets me is someone that stupid will collect a rather large sum of money in the form of a lawsuit or settlement.

When I worked fast food way back in the day, I met one or two dumb girls that would have done the same thing. I would have loved to see her doing jumping jacks and the purse she was accused of stealing fall out.

Good point about the restitution Obs.

I guess justice will come when he gets raped in prison by some redneck sodomite.

I still don’t get where she thought blowing him was part of the search.

why did the man watn to talk to hur pener on the fone?

Good question Mikey.

On another note, I once saw Pepper smuggle a salami out of a kosher deli near Penn Station. Someone should have made him strip and do jumping jacks.

True story

Mikey…..

….the fact is….gurl peners don’t just “talk” to men….they scream to men….

Wow…

Well, maybe the damn little broad will use some of that 1.1 Million dollars she got to get a boob-job. I think she would find the rewards from that to be more fulfilling to her as a human being… I mean, if she gave a decent blow-job and swallowed and everything… It might give her an additional career choice…

Just saying…

That was awesome Harley. I still have that clip in my collection of music. It is a little different, but Sammy was the man!

Congrats, Mr. Nutt! I am glad one of us finally got some good news.

I start making payments to the bitch this month.

You know Mr. Nutt. I am not 100% sure… I would not be surprised if I did… In fact, I am almost positive I will end up doing so.