Archive for August, 2012
Sissy Kid Gets Whale Windfall Without Killing A Whale
I’ve longed to harpoon a sperm whale since before I could walk. I remember sitting in my three-cornered pants, a stiff drink in one hand, a freshly lit cigars in the other dreaming of the day I would take the world’s larges...
Bar Refaeli Has Me Write A Story Of Adventure About Her Lingerie
I’m a sucker for a good-looking dame. Israeli model Bar Refaeli knows this and she’s milking it for all it’s worth. She asked me to write a “story based stream of conciseness” to go along with her new lingerie promoti...
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Looks Lovely In Underwear Part 2
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Looks Lovely In Underwear Part 2 British model actress person Rosie-O’Donnell-Perez-Huntington-The Riveter-Whiteley sent us some more pics of her in…Jesus! For such a skinny gal she sure has a lo...
Eye No To Understan Wha He Say. Do He Be To Speak Engliss?
My manservant of little value and even less education Manuel came to me yesterday quite confused. He had come across a video on that “internet” thing that he didn’t understand. As this is a fairly common occurrence he...
Retard Dresses As Bigfoot, Gets Run Over By Two Different Vehicles
Forty-four year old retard Randy Lee Tenley was struck and killed by two passing vehicles on Highway 93 South in Montana Sunday evening. Randy’s a retard because he was dressed like Bigfoot at the time. His intention was to...
Brazilian Model Izabel Goulart Is No Kelly Brook But Still Has A Chance At Being Miss Foyer
Very beautiful, very curvy, and very waxed Brazilian model Izabel Goulart brought a case of Brahma beer over to the Foyer this weekend so I’d have something to drink while she modeled different swimsuits. It seems that she,...
Manish Kumar Is Not A Nancy, Cleans Sewers Barehanded In India For Booze Money
God bless the man that likes his drink. And God bless the man willing to paw, scrape, and manhandle human feces barehanded for money to buy those drinks. My little brown friend of the lowest of lowest castes and former tiger gu...
A Dillon Aero SUV-Mounted Minigun Is The First Ingredient In Rabbit Jell-O, The Second Is A Bunch Of Rabbits
My car man / driver and man of extremely questionable Italian background Antonello Estachio Gefilte III showed me this video of a Dillon Aero SUV-Mounted Minigun this morning. “It’a be’a fun’a to shoot’a da rabbit’s...
Irina Shayk Is Still Gorgeous, Still Has A Name No One Can Pronounce, Still Wants To Be Miss Foyer
Despite the fact that I have told her “У нас нет фéна” numerous times, Irina is till longing to be the next Miss Foyer. She sent us these pictures of her slinking around in her skivvies along with a note t...
I Slept With Dr. Mary Galdikas And All I Got Was A Case Of Orangutan Crabs
Regulars to the Foyer are well aware that there’s a space in my 18,000 square foot trophy room reserved for a bull orangutan. Because the fabled red ape is on the Nancy List of Endangered Species obtaining one has been a thir...