Archive for July, 2012
Russians Are Stupid
This is the worst invite I’ve ever gotten. These Russian guys sent me this video of them fishing with a grenade along with an invite for me to join them. I wasn’t really considering the invite before I watched the video...
Candy Swanepoel Is Still Crazy But Crazy In A Not Wearing A Shirt Sort Of Way
Last week I posted how Candy sent me a photo of her wearing the shirt she stole from my closet. This week she sent me a picture of her not wearing a shirt. It’s a nice picture. Her note however, not so nice. Or sane....
Killer Whales Hating People Is Not News
Last week I posted a little ditty about how killer whales are ornery bastards hell bent on killing folks. Well it seems that in the wake of my comments the news media has decided to print some stats on killer whales acting vi...
Kat Dennings Is Sending Me Subliminal Messages
My kitchen cleaner and mother of countless children Selena Guadalupe tells me this young lady’s name is Kat Dennings. I must admit that “I wonder what her name is?” wasn’t the first thing that popped into my head when...
Amy Childs Wants To Be Miss Foyer
I have no idea who Amy Childs is but I like the way she dresses. Or rather the way she proudly displays her womanhood. She sent us this pic with a note that read, “This is how I dress when out on street. Do U Like? An...
Eleven-Year-Old Mikie Webb Is Not A Nancy, Redneck Maybe, But Not A Nancy
Despite having a really strange first name, Mikie Webb is not a Nancy. A Redneck, almost definitely, but a Nancy he is not. Mikie proved his manliness – albeit an 11-year-old version of manliness – by jumping in a pond ...
Idiot Goes Swimming With Killer Whale, Is Thrashed Around Like A Rag Doll In The Mouth Of A Killer Whale – Go Figure
As someone that’s taken a killer whale off the Argentine coast with a handheld harpoon let me say that these Oreos of the sea are vicious predators hell bent on killing humans. Especially humans that shove a harpoon into thei...
Another Video Of Some Columbian Model Writhing Around In Her Underwear
Although I normally don’t care for gals sucking up for the opportunity to be a future Miss Foyer, I must say I like all the feminine attention it brings. Like this video I got from some Columbian gal named Cristina Hurtado....
Does No One In Borneo Know How To Accept A Bribe? All I Want Is To Shoot A Dammed Orangutan!
For the past three decades I’ve tried desperately to fill the space in my 18,000-square foot trophy room reserved for a bull orangutan to no avail. My appeals to those in the Borneo government fell on deaf ears. My bribes...
Candy Swanepoel Stole My Shirt, Might Be A Stalker, Is Still Gorgeous Albeit Crazy Gorgeous
That South African honey-bunny Candy Swan-Pole is so desperate to be the next Miss Foyer that she broke in to my closet and took one of my shirts. She sent a photo of her seductively wrapped in it to the Foyer with a note tha...